"State of Walkers" 2002

Fellow Walkers:

Each New Years Day I like to write to you all on the anniversary of the
founding of the Walkers in Darkness mailing list.  This year, as we enter
2002, we begin our 11th year and I would like to begin this message with
something a little different from what I usually write.

Part 1:

This time, I would like to quote an old message I found in my archives from
1995.

Sun, 19 Mar 1995
From : This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it <nobody in particular>
Subject : Bye

Sorry to hit you folks with this.  You have all been very good to me.  I
guess I finally reached the point where I can no longer deal with the
descent into hell even one more time.  Those of you who have been there
recently will understand what I mean.

It's just not worth the pain 'cause every time I think I am feeling a little
bit better and every time I start to feel that my life has the least little
bit of meaning or purpose, I hit the hard reality that I am just kidding
myself and there is no way that I can win the battle because it is a battle
against myself.

If my opponent was some seen or unseen entity external to my being, I might
have a chance.  Unfortunately, that isn't the case.  The demon is part of my
soul and there is no way to separate me from it.  Trying to kill it is going
to end up killing me along with the Beast.

By the time you read this, I will be gone.

I am starting to feel the pills kick in as I type this and my demise will be
like a tree falling in the woods -- no one is here to hear it.

Don't feel sad or bad for me.  This is a lot better this way and I would
rather just fade away peacefully than to go on knowing that there will never
be a chance for peace if I live.

Bye.

A very desperate message from a very desperate person who had lost the one
thing we all depend on for survival - hope.

I know how that feels.  Because, you see, the person who sent that post to
the Walkers list on a dark Sunday night in 1995 was me.

Many things have changed since then.  New doctors; better meds; a different
diagnosis; better treatment; lots of therapy; and most of all Walkers.

I would have never thought, in those dark hours, that I would ever recover
from my illness.  I would have never thought that I would still be involved
with Walkers after all of these years or that many years later Walkers would
metamorphosis from a listserv to the nationally recognized charitable
organization that it has become.

And, I certainly never thought that I would end up being the President of
that organization, nor that I'd be seeing myself and the organization
featured in a national newspaper like the Washington Post.

You see, I had lost sight of a couple important facts.  One being that we
really do not know why we are here until it is shown to us.  The other is
that, no matter how hopeless life appears at the time, there is *always*
hope.

I know that it is very easy to lose track of those things and if you ever
do, print this out and read it again because the same rules apply to all of
us.


Part 2:

2001 was a year that many of us entered with great hope and optimism and
left with terror, confusion and pessimism.

The traffic on our web site went from about 350,000 from Nov. 1997 to Jun.
2000 to over 400,00 in the year from Jun. 2000 to Jun 2001 alone.  Right
now, we are on track to hit about 700,000 visitors this year if things keep
up at the current pace.

We are seeing more people than ever looking for information, help,
understanding and support.  Luckily, we have still been able to provide them
with it.

Last year, I put a lot of my energies into improving the infrastructure that
Walkers runs on so that we could accommodate more visitors and more traffic.
That seems to have paid off.  This year, if we are able to, I hope to
concentrate on increasing awareness of what we offer and try to reach more
of the people out there who can benefit from what we offer.  We have
something truly unique and beneficial here.

A special thanks goes out to all of the volunteers, officers and Board
members who help make this all possible.  I do not know how I would do this
without all of you.

And, to the members of our lists, forums and chat rooms:  You have a big
part in this as well.  As we see new members joining our lists, forums and
chat rooms, we depend on you to make them feel welcome and offer them
support.  We also always need your financial support in the form of your
donations.  But, most of all, we need you to keep walking along with the
rest of us and keep sharing the strength, the hope and the light that is
Walkers.

Mark "Mongo" Oberg
January 1, 2002